Monday, March 8, 2010

Kusoge: Crap Games

Kuso-ge is a Japanese term for shitty games. These games usually gain some type of cult following due to the nature of awfulness involved in attempting to play it. Some games even increase in value like Death Crimson on Saturn due to this phenomena. The categories of awfulness are as follows:

  • Extreme Difficulty: The game is really frustrating and "throw the controller through the window" hard. The game is by nature, designed to be brutal and unforgiving in all aspects. An example would be Takeshi's Challenge (Takeshi no Chousenjou) for the Famicom. This game can be seen as one of the most famous Kusoge due to it's affiliation with Japanese actor Beat Takeshi (of Battle Royale fame), a man who hates gaming. In his hatred he seemingly designed the hardest/shittiest game ever on purpose. The game requires such feats as: Singing karaoke for one hour straight, playing a flying game where you can only control a plane with the down button, and a patience stage consisting of not touching the controller for hours before proceeding to the last stage. If you want to see one man's effort to beat it and the hilarity that ensues, Google the first episode of Game Center CX.
  • Broken with Glitches and Bugs: Some games are not thoroughly tested before they are launched. In good cases we get patches these days to update the game and fix bugs, however in most cases the buyer is simply screwed, left with a broken game (say hello to Capcom vs. SNK Cardfighters on DS for me.) One of the worst examples of this is Big Rigs. Big Rigs was a truck racing game released for PC around '03. The game is so broken, you literally cannot race, as the rival truck never moves. The racing map has no barriers, so you can feel free to drive into infinity. The game is beyond broken, it is simply unplayable. It is so horrid, that the game's creator had an offer for people who bought the game to send in their copy with proof of purchase to receive a different game entirely. Beware of Big Rigs.
  • Too Weird: Some games are odd like Katamari Damacy or Gitaroo Man. Others are not just odd, they are borderline insane and make you wonder who gave the greenlight for the project to begin with. A prime example is the Cho Aniki series. The translation is something like Super Big Brother (although I think the name should be Naked Muscle Men the Erotic Ride.) It primarily deals with half naked musclemen flying around fighting ships shaped like naked men with robot penis weapons. No, I am not making that up. In fact Aksys is bringing the newest game to the States soon. If this type of game interest you, checkout Muscle March on Wii, it is also super gay!
  • Too Stupid: This is a pretty obscure category, but I can think of at least one that fits. Trio the Punch is an arcade game (and also a PS2 game) featuring three guys that walk around fighting stuff. This isn't too different from alot of games right? Well this one also has no story, bosses that appear at the beginning of levels for no reason, and one stage where you play as a sheep , once again for no reason. The enemies are weird, and the game is pretty much as nonsensical as it gets. Not a bad game to download for MAME if you are curious about kuso-ge.
I got started on this idea, because it seems Deadly Premonition has gotten a bad reputation after release. It is not kusoge, as it does not fall into one of the categories above. The game simply is an odd budget release. In America, we do not share the same love for bad games as our Japanese counterparts (the Angry VideoGame Nerd sure as hell doesn't.) I think it is cool to like a bad game or two. Heck I loved the original TMNT on NES, and it is freakin' awful. Anyway, that is my rant for today. If you are interested in some American kuso-ge check out this buried turd:

Fun Fact: This little winner was so terrible, it caused the game market crash of the early 80's!

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