Weekly Kusoge on Hold this Week

Your weekly kusoge is on hold this week. I'm planning a special one for next week that is awesomely bad! Unfortunately homework and my job have to come first, but in the mean time enjoy this wacky picture of Cheetahmen. If you don't know what Cheetahmen is, look up the hated classic, Action 52 (it is rumored to have caused World War 2 and cancer.) Just don't blame me if your NES plugs itself into the wall and jumps in your bath water.

Marvel vs Capcom 3: DLC Rumors

According to a rumor from a forum member on NeoGaf named Lupinko, this is the remaining DLC for Marvel vs Capcom 3:

Marvel
Dr Octopus
Juggernaut
Elektra
Apocalypse
Iceman
Thanos
Ms Marvel

Capcom
Frank West
Phoenix Wright
Megaman X
Gene
Talbain
Strider
Gail (El Dorado Gate)

Stage
Phoenix Wright Courtroom

This same guy predicted the roster for the game before it was released, so maybe he has some inside information. Next week Capcom holds their annual Captivate event to show off new games in progress, hopefully they will shed some light on this crazy new rumor. Personally I am still hoping that BB Hood gets in.

The Witcher 2 Trailer is Stunning

 

The Witcher 2 is shaping up to be an awesome game for RPG fans. Enjoy this new trailer for the PC version and pre-order it on Steam to save $5 bucks!

Random Screenshot 23: Persona 4

Shin Megami Tensei Persona 4 (PS2) Atlus 2008

Persona 4 is an interesting mix of high school simulation, dating simulation, RPG, and dungeon crawler all rolled into one funky package. As one of the last great RPGs released for the PS2, the game pushes the old system to it's limits. The graphics look really cool and unique, while the music makes for one of the best game soundtracks in gaming history. The real kicker here is the story. The protagonist moves from the city to the sleepy country side to stay with his uncle, who just happens to be a cop. As the game begins, a murder takes place that frightens the locals with it's mysterious and horrific circumstances. Suddenly a new TV channel appears that reveals the next victim for the serial killer and it is up to a group of students to stop the murderer before he kills them by entering a portal to the "Midnight Channel". Inside this bizarre world, people gain the power of the persona, or die as part of the killer's sick game. Another interesting note is each character's personal story told inside the dungeons, such as one character fighting his own homosexual behavior and another that fighting her anger with the celebrity scene, these sections are very well told and make your party members seem like real people. You can also make relationships with your classmates and even find a girlfriend, which is strange, but fun. The game ships with the soundtrack inside as a special bonus. Pick this one up before it becomes rare, like most of Atlus' games tend to do. Did I mention you get a talking teddy bear in your party?

Super Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition Release Confirmed

The BBFC has confirmed the release of Super Street Fighter 4 Arcade Edition on PS3 and 360 for June 24th in the UK. Earlier this month the game was confirmed for release in South Korea as well. The US release has not been leaked yet, but I am sure it is coming soon. For those not in the know, Arcade Edition is the name for the Japanese arcade cabinet which rebalanced the roster and added four new characters: Yun, Yang, Evil Ryu, and Oni. I'm sure Capcom is waiting for a big unveil, but fans are getting tired of the "run around." Just confirm it on Twitter, Ono!
Link:http://www.eventhubs.com/news/2011/mar/28/bbfc-confirms-ssf4-arcade-edition-uk-release-date-june-24/

Make Me Your Hardcore Gaming Voice at Kmart For E3 2011

E3 has been an event I have read about since I bought my first gaming magazine in 1995. It is almost like a mystical occurrence that only the best of the best can bear witness to and behold. As a passionate hardcore gamer for over twenty years, my dream has always been to attend E3 at least once before I kick the bucket. I would love to be one of the first gamers to get my hands on the new fighting games, wacky imports, and retro revivals on display at the show. It would be an incredible honor just to be in the same room as gaming legends like Hideo Kojima (Metal Gear), Shigeru Miyamoto (Mario, Zelda), and Koji Igarashi (Castlevania). I would also love to extract any information from Capcom on Street Fighter vs. Tekken and the upcoming Mega Man Legends 3, Square Enix on Final Fantasy Versus 13, and Atlus on Catherine and Persona 2: Innocent Sin for PSP.

So why send me? I am very knowledgeable on gaming and would make a great voice for hardcore gamers and fighting game fans at E3 2011. When I heard about the contest on Destructoid, I was actually shocked that Kmart was having a video game related contest. However, when I went to Kmart's site and saw how active the gaming community was there, I was pleasantly surprised that the quality and content of game information was up to par with other major gaming sites. I was already aware of the great selection of games available at Kmart and the excellent pre-order bonuses, but finding a community of gamers dedicated to it was the icing on the cake. If I were selected to represent the community on Kmart.com, hardcore gamers (for my friends on the Hardcore Gaming 101 forums...yes my user name is Lee over there too), and my own blog's readership, I would not let anyone down by providing the best updates available, especially concerning fighting games and RPGs, my favorite genres.

I would love to go with the Kmart team to give the store and site more "street cred" with hardcore gamers. I'm sure my blogging skills could do that, and make Kmart the go to place for serious gaming fans during E3.

 An easier suggestion: pick me because there's smart...then there's Kmart smart! 

Contest Link: http://www.mykmart.com/mykmart_blog/KmartGamer-bloggers-e3-2011

Awesome Box Art of the Week: Real Bout Fatal Fury

Random Screenshot 22: Valkyria Chronicles

Valkyria Chronicles (PS3) Sega 2008

In 2008, Sega released one of their finest games in years, Valkyria Chronicles. The story follows the exploits of a young militia commander and his rag tag squad entering a hopeless war. However, with some brilliant tactics, the war starts turning in their favor which brings out the enemy generals in full force. The game is tactical warfare with an anime flavor. The player orders his soldiers through the battlefield deploying tanks, snipers, and other common military types to win each scenario. The battles flow nicely, and can last for a few hours as some battle maps are huge. The graphics are absolutely amazing, sometimes its seems more like you are watching a movie than playing a video game. The music is also top notch, with awesome symphonic tunes that draw the player into each battle. Valkyria Chronicle was very popular in Japan where it spawned an anime series, manga, and two drama CDs. Two sequels have been made for the PSP as well. For the best experience with this series play the first game, it is one of the best tactical RPGs of this generation.

Bad Box Art of the Week: Mega Man Soccer

SNK Arcade Classics Volume Zero Trailer is Out

The upcoming PSP game, SNK Arcade Classics Volume Zero, now has a trailer available. The game is coming out next month, and will feature old hits like Athena (arcade version) and Ikari III. Add this one to your must import list. Hopefully if this one sells well enough, SNK will bless fans with a true volume 2 with kick ass games like Mark of the Wolves and Last Blade.

Athena approves of this post.

Random Screenshot 21: Melty Blood Actress Again

Melty Blood Actress Again (PS2) Sega (developed by Type Moon and French Bread) 2009

Few doujin titles ever get the mainstream spotlight. Tsukihime, an erotic doujin (fan-made) PC title about rival vampires, became such a big hit that it spawned an anime TV series and a fighting game, Melty Blood. The fighting game was originally a doujin PC game but it became wildly popular so the title was ported to Japanese arcades using the Naomi board and later to the Playstation 2. Eventually two sequels were produced. Melty Blood Actress Again is the most recent and up to date game in the series. The graphics look pretty ancient, and the animation is lacking, but the fights run very fast. The fighting engine is very well made, playing almost as well as the big games from Capcom and Sammy. The roster has plenty of clones in it, but wild characters like Nrvnqsr Chaos, a demon composed of several different monsters, will surely keep any player entertained for awhile. The game is available as a Japanese import only, and fairly expensive to acquire these days. You can find the previous games for PC more easily and at a cheaper cost. Melty Blood titles have become a regular at the top ranked fighting game competition in Japan, the Tougeki Super Battle Opera, and the EVO tournament in Las Vegas. This fact alone speaks to the level of quality of this fan-made series.

Like Strider? Check out Moon Diver!

I just saw the trailer for this game, and instant amazement set in. Moon Diver is a downloadable title coming soon to PSN and XBLA. The game is multi-player side scrolling action game from the creators of Strider. Can you say, fuck yeah?

Random Screenshot 20: Cyberbots

Cyberbots (Arcade, Saturn, PSX) Capcom 1995

Capcom made a ton of fighting games in the 90s. Many of their games were huge successes like Street Fighter 2 and Marvel vs. Capcom, but a few fell into the realms of obscurity. Cyberbots is one of those hidden gems that did poorly in arcades. The game features giant Gundam like robots battling it out across the Earth and in outer space. The graphics were quite stunning for the time, and the human pilots are interesting characters in the story mode (Princess Devilotte is hilarious.) Capcom released a barebones port to PSX, and a Saturn port that utilized the 1 Meg Cart to enhance the animation. The ports got a bonus character, Zero Gouki, a giant robot version of Akuma from the Street Fighter series. The ports are very basic in features without a training or survival mode. The game still holds up pretty well for the modern day if you have a second player, and works great on MAME if you don't like importing old titles. Cyberbots drowned in the wake of bigger fighting games during it's initial release, but it is well worth tracking down if you love 2-D games, Capcom, or giant robot anime.

Sexy Fan Art Friday

While looking through Pixiv, a Japanese art site, I found a user named からあげ (Fried). He specializes in drawing sexy chicks from video games and anime. A link for his page is at the bottom of the post. Here are some of my favorite pieces:

 からあげ page: http://www.pixiv.net/member.php?id=331489

Your Princess's Clothes are in a Different Castle

You can always count on Japanese toy makers to dismantle your childhood dreams and turn them into something either A) sexual, B) strange, or C) both. The "Princess Bitch" PVC statue is one that qualifies under both. At least now I know why Mario was working so hard for all these years to get Princess Peach back from Bowser, for a body like that I would go fight a fire-breathing dragon too! The statue is scheduled to ship in November, the pre-order price is $120. The creepy mushroom guy is sadly not optional.
Pre Order Here: http://www.entertainmentearth.com/prodinfo.asp?number=OS60093

Random Screenshot 19: Famicom Detective Club 2

Famicom Detective Club Part II: The Girl Who Stands Behind (SFC) Nintendo 1995

Text adventure games thrived on Macs and PCs in the 1980s and early 90s. The genre never really caught on with consoles, but Nintendo tried to establish text adventures on the Famicom Disk System. The system was never released outside Japan, and was notorious for breaking because of poor design involving a crucial internal component. Even with it's glaring flaws, numerous great series started on the FDS, and one of those series was the Famicom Detective Club. These text adventures star a young protagonist piecing together a mystery using on screen commands like the infamous Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom. The second game in the series, The Girl Who Stands Behind, was really popular in Japan. It was so popular that it was later ported to the Super Famicom. The plot has the young detective searching for clues surrounding a murder case set in a Japanese high school and an old ghost story that is somehow connected to the event. The graphics are sharp, and the music is really amazing, which totally caught me off-guard. The story feels very adult, and there are even sexual jokes in the game, which is pretty rare for Nintendo in any era especially 1995. The rom was translated by the same guys who worked on the Mother 3 translation, meaning it is very well done. Track this game down if you liked Radical Dreamers or Princess Tomato. It is super obscure and retro...in a good way. 

3DS Region Locked...BOOO!

According to a recent article on Desructoid the Nintendo 3DS is region locked. I think all systems should be region fee, but portable systems being region locked is just...retarded. Portable systems are meant for travel, and some people like to travel abroad. Nintendo doesn't want your foreign money, which is odd considering how greedy they are most of the time (ex. Super Mario Collection on Wii is just a rom of Mario All Stars without World.)
This region lock bullshit makes me a sad panda. I guess I will simply stick with my PSP and iPad. Okay, I am lying I want Super Street Fighter IV: 3DS Edition regardless of this issue.
For the full report:http://www.destructoid.com/3ds-region-block-confirmed-us-won-t-even-read-jp-games-197176.phtml

Random Screenshot 18: Astro Boy The Omega Factor

Astro Boy: The Omega Factor (GBA) 2004 Sega (developed by Hitmaker and Treasure)

Astro Boy comes from the "god of manga", Osamu Tezuka. The story is about a boy robot that fights crime. In 2004, two great developers collaborated on Astro Boy: The Omega Factor for the Gameboy Advance. The game uses characters from the entire Astro Boy canon and creates an all new storyline in his universe. The game is divided into two parts. The first part covers Astro Boy's mission to stop a villain hellbent on conquering Earth. In the end, the enemy succeeds, but then Astro Boy is granted a new power; the ability to move through time.  In the second half of the game, Astro Boy's new ability allows him to stop the would-be conqueror and save the world. The graphics are fantastic with cool scaling effects and eye-popping colors. The music is vey fitting, with some parts being catchy and memorable. Astro Boy has beat'em up levels and shooters levels, which benefit from the awesome design that Treasure is known for in their other games. Overall, Astro Boy is one of the best games on the Gameboy Advance. You don't have to like the anime or manga to enjoy this game, but fans will be delighted by the sheer number of cameos that make an appearance. This is the best Treasure game on the system, beating out both the Gunstar Heroes and Guardian Heroes sequels for the top spot on the GBA.

Awesome Box Art of the Week: Mega Man Zero Collection

Kusoge of the Week: Skyscraper

Do you love the movie, Die Hard? Do you love the FPS genre? Do you have a Wii? If you answered yes to any these questions, then you could have a good time by hacking your Wii and throwing in Die Hard on DVD. If you want to subject yourself to torture, play Skyscraper instead.

Skyscraper started as PS2 game. It was known for being a bad game, but it didn't stop there. Someone at Midas decided to port this turd to Wii. The game was only released in Europe and Australia, somehow America got lucky this time. Skyscraper was released at a budget price of about 20 dollars. Of course, Wii owners don't have much choice in FPS games, so that price should sound nice....right? No...hell no! You are better off getting the N64 from the basement and playing Goldeneye, because the graphics in Skyscraper are about the same (and yes this game is recent.)

You play as this nerdy British guy ( he looks like the Angry Video Game Nerd) who has his office taken over by terrorists. The game glorifies the fact that there is 20 levels of actions waiting for you (hence the name Skyscraper, how clever...or not.) The "action" consist of fighting enemies with really bad AI that don't fight back is most situations and lame puzzles that a child could solve.

Your nerdy hero's real problems come from glitches. He will get stuck in the floor sometimes or just clip himself into a polygonal mess. Enemies will sometimes just pause and let you kill them, which is retarded but comical. The voice acting is also really awful.

The Wii is home to a lot of shovelware. This game is included in that notorious category but qualifies as kusoge because literally everything sucks: the graphics, voice acting, music, shooting, missions, and glitches galore. This is the type of game you break out to remind yourself why Call of Duty is so damn good. Skyscraper is pure shit that should be experienced with drinking buddies or at a party. Tell them it is Die Hard 5: Die Hardest...actually don't do that, Bruce Willis will fly there and personally kick your ass.

 "You're playing Skyscraper? Yippie ki yay motherfucker!"

Bad Box Art of the Week: Rival Turf

Random Screenshot 17: Dragon Quest VIII

Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King (PS2) Square Enix 2005

Dragon Quest is the original J-RPG. It's sequels continue to this day, but I consider the 8th game to be the series masterpiece. Dragon Quest VIII follows the efforts of a merry band of adventurers to retrieve an ancient scepter that can restore a cursed kingdom to normal. Along the way, the story takes plenty of twists, and each time the ending feels close some new enemy manages to appear. The graphics were a huge leap over the previous Dragon Quest titles, with Akira Toriyami's art being rendered in beautiful cel-shaded 3-D.  The music is nice and soothing for the most part, with the battle music being a fun blasting tune that makes you feel tense with each encounter. What may turn off some players is the oldschool nature of the game play. There are no save points in dungeons or on maps. You have to grind levels and fight the boss when you are truly prepared to win. It is a throwback, but a pleasant one, in a time when every series tries to hold your hand through the game. It is one of the finest games on the Playstation 2, and really cheap these days. Pick it up and enjoy a very long, difficult but awesome classic J-RPG.

Marvel vs Capcom 3: Shuma Gorath and Jill DLC

The new character DLC is up Marvel vs. Capcom 3. Shuma Gorath and Jill Valentine were added. Shuma Gorath is an obscure villain from Dr. Strange that takes the form of a one-eyes octopus thing. Jill Valentine takes her look from Resident Evil 5, where she was brainwashed and fought like someone out of the Matrix films. I'd rather had the corny "I'm a member of STARS" Jill from Marvel vs. Capcom 2, but I'm sure that outfit option will be future DLC.
Shuma Gorath plays like before, but his moves are much stronger and better. His Chaos Dimension attack is a level 3 super now, and it seems to work faster than before. He has some cool assist moves, and his fourth color is metallic silver, which makes him look even more badass. His ending is quite odd, somehow he ends up hosting a Japanese game show.

Jill plays nothing like her Marvel vs. Capcom 2 counterpart. She is lethally quick, and seems to be an effective rushdown character. Her level three super turns her into a speed machine that makes her faster than Wolverine and X-23. She has some interesting techniques, and plays nothing like any of the characters. She also looks pretty damn hot.

The DLC is available now on PS3 and Xbox 360.

Random Screenshot 16: Ketsui Death Label

Ketsui Death Label (Nintendo DS) Cave 2008

Cave is known for their danmaku, or bullet hell, shooters. Until recent iPhone ports, no Cave game was ever ported to a handheld. In 2008, the elusive Ketsui was kinda ported to the DS with Death Label. Why do I say kinda? Well the game is basically a boss rush mode, with only one regular stage that requires super skills to unlock. The game looks great on the DS and the music is awesome. It is a very fun game in short bursts, and has plenty of unlockable content.  The game is very expensive to buy and good luck even finding it as Death Label was given a low release run. If you do find it, get ready for a kick ass danmaku on the go. The real port of Ketsui exists on Xbox 360 in Japan.

Awesome Box Art of the Week: Aleste 2 (MSX)

Random Screenshot 15: The Simpsons

The Simpsons (Arcade) Konami 1991

The Simpsons is one of TV's longest running shows. The show has spawned numerous games throughout the years, most of which have been fairly awful or simply mediocre. The best game is The Simpsons from Konami. It is your standard beat-em up, but there is plenty of great in-jokes for fans and the game play is rock solid. The plot follows Smithers kidnapping Maggie, after she mistakes a diamond for pacifier. Then the Simpsons family enters "Mike Haggar mode" to track her down for the rescue. Some levels come straight from the show like Moe's Tavern and the television station; and you can expect numerous cameos. The Simpsons was never ported to a home console. The game is perfectly emulated on Mame, and even allows for 4-players. Hopefully one day, this game will get a re-release on Xbox Live or even better a Konami beat-em up compilation...okay now I am really dreaming.

Get Ninja Senki

Do you love 8-bit games? If so, check out the freeware, Ninja Senki. The game is kinda like Mega Man meets Ninja Gaiden. The difficulty is straight out of the NES era, so don't expect to beat this easily. It doesn't have a Continue or Password option either, so plan to have plenty of free time to beat Ninja Senki. The graphics are charming, and the music is really cool...reminds me of Capcom chiptunes. The game works with a USB pad. Check it out in the link below.

http://www.ninjasenki.com/

Bad Box Art of the Week: Phalanx

Japan Needs Your Help!

Yesterday, Japan was hit by a huge earthquake that devastated the country, killing thousands of people and leaving many without food or drinking water. The country is responsible for so many great things that I love that I felt it was time to give something back. You can help by donating via organizations like the Red Cross. Every little bit helps, remember all the great things that Japan has given the world: video games, anime, sushi, etc. All jokes aside, this is a great opportunity to help others in need and build good karma (most of us need it.) This is from the Red Cross website:

Those who want to help can go to www.redcross.org and donate to Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami. People can also text REDCROSS to 90999 to make a $10 donation to help those affected by the earthquake in Japan and tsunami throughout the Pacific.

What are you waiting on?! Go donate! 

Random Screenshot 14: Tokimeki Memorial

Tokimeki Memorial (Super Famicom) Konami 1996

Tokimeki Memorial is one of the most beloved dating sims of all time. You may ask, "what the hell is a dating sim?" The dating sim is a very Japanese genre of gaming, where the protagonist is usually on some type of quest for love or sex. Not too many dating sims are officially released in English with the exception of Sakura Wars 5, and various PC hentai "interactive novels." Tokimeki Memorial is about a young man trying to find his dream girl in high school. Along the way he will improve his stats like intelligence and appearance, all in order to woe the ladies around the school. Unlike real life, you can play fun mini-games that boost your chances with each girl. These mini games are displayed in hilarious SD sprite form and make for a nice break between kissing each chick's ass for a date. None of the Tokimeki Memorial games have ever been translated to English. However, the Super Famicom version is very playable. Just pick the first speech option any time a girl speaks to you and it will not be wrong. It is silly, but this strategy really works. For an easier Tokimeki experience, check out the puzzle games on Sega Saturn. They are both quality games, and can be had for super cheap. An interesting side note: Koji Igarashi, the game's designer, so vehemently rejected working on a sequel, that he was transferred to the Castlevania development team.  His next game was the brilliant and critically acclaimed, Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. 

Kusoge of the Week: Pepsiman

Apparently in Japan, if you get really thirsty, a magical dude called Pepsiman will appear. He will use his crazy powers to deliver Pepsi to you instantly. This is all bullshit of course, but Pepsiman was a great mascot in the 90s. He was the focal point of Japan's Pepsi campaigns. Pepsiman was so popular, he even got his own Playstation game.

The game starts with some fat American guy telling you about Pepsi. Since the game was only released in Japan, I guess this is their view of the typical Pepsi drinking foreigner; fat and retarded. After this pointless FMV, the game moves into another scene which involves someone explaining a problem to Pepsiman. Needless to say, all the problems revolve around a lack of Pepsi products.

From here an awesome theme song plays, which sings about Pepsiman. After the theme song you go in to the levels which are kinda strange. You move Pepsiman from right to left as he attempts to avoid random shit on his way to the goal. He can jump and slide under vehicles, which adds some variety to the gameplay. Also in certain levels he gets a skateboard. Pretty rad huh?

Pepsiman doesn't have music in the levels ( actually this is just in the ripped versions found online, emulators can't read it for some reason.) This is a shame because honestly his theme song is so badass if it played constantly no one would complain. The graphics are about average for a Playstation title with nothing really standing out aside from the weird 2-D people in 3-D levels. The visuals only real affect is making the player want to drink a case of Pepsi.

As far as advertisement games go, Pepsiman is definitely one of the best. It is a shame Pepsiman was never released in the US, but the game is far too weird for mass appeal. In Japan, the mascot was a huge hit. He went onto star in Fighting Vipers as a secret character. This cheat was removed from the US version and Pepsiman was not included in Fighting Vipers 2. I guess the decision makers were fans of Coca-Cola products.

Recommendation:
Pepsiman now rests in total obscurity. The game is pretty stupid, but somehow it is still incredibly fun. Pepsiman is pretty expensive in the second hand market, and a re-release will never happen. If you like weird games or Pepsi (fanatically) then track this game (or ISO) down, you won't be disappointed.